let it go (the future is waiting)
by haleigh91
Summary: Emma is visited by someone from her past that informs her of the only way to heal: let go of the past. Based on the theory of Emma getting rid of the swan necklace and the leather shoelace. Set a few weeks after "Quiet Minds". Captain Swan. Comfort/Angst/Feels.


The darkness pulled her under, deeper and deeper, until she was surrounded by nothing but fog. The dense white clouds swirled around her like a maddening tornado, adding confusion to her already odd surroundings. Emma put a hand above her eyes to avoid the bright light radiating in front of her, squinting her eyes to see what was coming towards her.

"Hello?" she yelled, her voice echoing into the white abyss as she craned her neck to look around. Nothing. Nothing but whiteness and fog." Is someone there?"

"Emma?"

She heard the soft voice and let an unintentional gasp escape her mouth. It couldn't be. He was dead. She saw him die right in front of her; his head cradled in her lap as he spoke his final wish and made peace with his father.

"Neal?"

Confusion was etched deeply into her eyebrows as the figure approached her. Yes, he was dead, yet there he was standing right in front of her. Emma opened her mouth to reply yet nothing came out.

"It's good to see you, Emma." He stood in front of her, smiling, as if this were the most normal thing in the world.

"What? How? You died. I don't understand," she rambled, mostly to herself, running a shaky hand through her golden locks. Which made her seem crazier? Talking to herself or to the ghost of her ex-lover and father of her child?

"You're dreaming, Emma. I'm not really here but I do have a very important message for you."

Out of nervous habit, Emma bit her bottom lip, not speaking a word. She avoided eye contact with his as best she could.

"Emma," he began, laying a cold hand on her shoulder. She shuttered under his touch. "It's been several weeks since I passed on. And I wanted you to know that I've been watching over you, just as I had promised. But you're not upholding your end of the bargain, Emma. You promised to find happiness, you and Henry. So why are you making yourself miserable, throwing up your walls and being cold to everyone, especially those that you love most?"

"Neal, I," she begin, searching her brain for the right words yet she came up with nothing. There was no excuse. After Neal had died, she shut herself off from the world. She was so tired of everyone that she loved dying right in front of her. So, she did what she thought was best: cutting everyone off. If she had nobody to love then there would be no heartbreak, right? If that was true, though, then why was she still hurting so badly?

"I know why you've shut yourself off, Emma. I feel like leaving your world has made me smarter in some sorts. I never really knew you as well as I thought I did. But being here has allowed me to take a step back and see the big picture."

He took a step towards her and laid both hands on her shoulders. "You can't just cut everyone off, Emma. You may think that this is best, that it won't cause you anymore hurt. But the truth is, you are hurting everyone around you."

Taking a hand off of her shoulder, he grabbed the swan necklace that hung loosely around her neck and fingered it. He sighed, squeezing his eyes tightly, before continuing. "There is only one way that you are going to be able to move forward. You have to let go of the past. You have to realize that not everyone is going to hurt you. This necklace, though small in size, is weighing you down. Not physically, but emotionally. You are never going to be able to fully love again until you let go of me and every bad thing I did to you."

The tears were quickly filling her eyes, her chest feeling as though it were going to explode. Standing in front of him, she felt about two feet tall, like a small child that was being scolded by her parents. And as much as it hurt to hear his words, she knew that he was right.

"You promised me that you would find Tallahassee, that you'd find a home with someone else, you and Henry. Emma, there is someone out there that loves you very much. And each time you push him away, you are just carving a deeper hole into his heart. I never thought I'd say this, but there are a few things you can learn from the pirate. He let go of 300 years of revenge and his first love, my mother, just to open himself up to you. He knew how to let go of the past. And, Emma, you'll never be able to completely love him back until you let go of your past too."

As the tears flowed harder down her face and her body shook uncontrollably, the whiteness started to fade, as did the figure in front of her. Everything began to go transparent before she felt his hand enclose around her wrist.

"Oh and Emma?" he whispered, his fingers wrapping around the brown leather shoelace that she had worn around her wrist for too long. "Graham had the same message for you. And he wanted me to let you know that he misses you too."

And then blackness.

Emma woke up with a start; chills everywhere yet sweat beading up around her forehead. She gasped for breath as she shot up, a shaky hand held over her heart to try to control her exasperated cries. She glanced over at her clock, seeing the time 6:10 AM blinking lazily in red.

It was just a dream, she tried to convince herself.

But it felt so real. And right.

And even though it may have just been a dream, Emma knew what she needed to do. She gave a quick glance down to the necklace and leather bracelet, both wrapped tightly around her body as part of her armor. She knew these items were slowly strangling the life, and possible love, right out of her.

Feeling as if she didn't have a moment to spare, she dressed quickly, throwing on her red leather jacket and grabbing her car keys. It's a good thing that she was the sheriff, because if she wasn't, there was no doubt that she would have gotten a speeding ticket; her little bug moving as fast towards the docks as it could.

She hardly remembers parking the car before her feet are hitting the ground and she's running. She feels as if she's flying, her body hurriedly racing towards the Jolly Roger, hoping, praying, that he's there.

She should have known he'd be awake. Sailors often take a routine to rise with the sun. And even though she had prepared herself as best she could on her way over, she was still breathless at the sight of him. He was crouched over, black leather and all, tying ropes to the mast of his ship, or something of the like. Emma didn't know and she really didn't care. She just needed him.

When her feet loudly hit the deck, Hook shot up, his good hand automatically going to rest on his sword as he spun around. But when his face recognized her, his features softened as he let go of the sword and took a few short strides to close the distance between them. He had not seen her since Neal's funeral, her aptly avoiding him in every way possible before locking herself in the loft and shutting him out completely.

"Swan?" he whispered, as if she would disappear right in front of him had he spoken any louder. "Are you alright, love?"

Ignoring his question, she spoke for the first time in weeks, her voice weak and cracking with every word. "I need you to take me sailing. Now. Please," she whispered, almost crumbling before his eyes.

"Of course. Is there somewhere specific?" his voice trailed off in confusion, uncertain of her intentions.

She shook her head violently, her messy blonde hair waving around. She spoke in half sentences, her thoughts being far too overwhelmed since she had woken. "Not too far. Just out into the water."

He gave her a sharp nod before bustling about the ship, quickly preparing her to sail in to the open waters. Within a few moments, they were moving, the Jolly Roger sailing gracefully towards the orange sunrise on the horizon. Neither spoke to each other during this time but she knew that his eyes never left her. Emma took to the side of the ship, her hands gently resting on the rail as she peered out into the bay.

She was so mesmerized by the dancing colors in the sky - red, orange, yellow - as they appeared over the horizon that she didn't even noticed they had stopped, the ship gracefully floating in the middle of the water. She could feel his presence beside her, the warm heat radiating from his leather clad body onto hers.

"Emma?" he hesitantly began, laying his good hand on her shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She remained quiet, her eyes unwavering from the horizon line.

Hook nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he remained at her side. "Okay. Well I'll be here when you do want to talk."

Emma let out a sharp huff, her gaze never leaving the sunrise. His sentence hit her right where it hurt. Because that's what the problem really boiled down to. He would never leave her. He loved her. And it scared the hell out of her. "I'm sorry."

"Excuse me, lass?"

"I'm sorry for pushing you away."

"Swan, you had every right to-"

"No, Hook, I didn't," she exclaimed hastily, twirling around to finally face him, his face just inches from hers yet she expertly continued to avoid his firm gaze. "You have been nothing but supportive. I…I thought if I shut everyone out, that the pain would somehow magically go away."

Without thought, Hook wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, pulling her body against his frame. She awkwardly laid her forehead against his chest before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"But I know as well as anyone that that is not how magic works. The best way to let go of the pain is to let go of the past. You know that better than anyone."

With her last thought, she finally lifted her head to catch his gaze, his blue eyes instantly melting into her green ones.

"Swan, pain is hard to get rid of. I feel as though I've had more pain in my past than most people ever experience. But," he aptly paused, untangling his good arm from around her waist to reach up and touch her cheek. She instantly leaned into the touch, "I got over the past and was finally able to let go of the pain. Do you know how I finally knew that everything was okay? That my pain and hurt was finally gone?"

She began trembling, her eyes continuing to brim with fear and uncertainty. After having expertly avoiding him for weeks and now to be in such an intimate position with him was a tad overwhelming. She could feel her walls crumbling right before him.

His lips turned upwards in a slow smile. "I knew that my pain was gone when I met you. You helped me to move on. And, if you'll let me, I want to return the favor."

Squeezing her eyes shut, she untangled herself from his embrace and turned back towards the railing of the ship.

"I had a dream," she clarified, her fingers digging into the rough wood of the ship. "Neal was in it."

She felt Hook stiffen beside her at the mention of his name.

"And it may have just been a dream, but it felt so real. He…uh, he told me what I needed to do."

Hook moved closer to her, aligning their bodies shoulder to shoulder against the railing. "And what would that be?"

Emma stayed silent for a few seconds, allowing her thoughts to clear before inhaling and taking a leap of faith.

"He told me that I would never be happy unless I completely let go of my past. "

And with that, she quickly began to unwrap the leather bracelet from her wrist. "This was from a man named Graham. I met him when I first moved to Storybrooke. He was the sheriff here. He…he could have been my first love after Neal. I cared for him deeply only to have him die in my arms, much as the same way Neal did."

The leather finally left her skin and in an instant she felt as though the chains had been lifted from her wrist. She did not realize for the longest time but that string was holding her down, tying her directly to her past like a ball and chain. And without it, she felt free.

Emma held the shoestring in her hand, glancing down at the object that once belonged to someone she loved. Reaching behind her neck, she tried to unhook the swan necklace from its place, her shaky hands doing nothing to the lock.

"Help me," she quietly spoke, even though it came out more as a demand than a request.

"Are you sure?" he looked down at the necklace that lay against her pale flesh. He knew how much this necklace, though symbolic, meant to her.

"Free me."

Hook gave her a quick nod before sweeping her blonde hair away from the back of her neck. He lifted up his hook to the chain and, exhaling deeply, snapped the chain in two. The necklace fell into Emma's hand, giving her the same effect that the bracelet had: true freedom.

Nervously, Hook ran his finger across her shoulder, giving it a light kiss before sweeping her hair back in place. He remained behind her and he could feel her lean back against his chest. With another leap of faith, he wrapped his arms around her stomach, leaning his face against her hair, his lips a feather away from her ear.

"What are you going to do, Swan?" he spoke softly. He could feel her shiver beneath him and he withheld a chuckle knowing that it was not because she was cold.

"Now," she whispered, glancing down at the necklace and bracelet that felt as if they were burning a hole into her hand. "I let it go."

Without a second thought, Emma threw the objects overboard. She watched as the objects moved through the air, almost as if in slow motion, before they landed with a soft splash into the water, sinking deep into the bay, never to be recovered. As soon as the symbols had left her hands, she felt as if a thousand pound weight had been lifted off of her. She had finally let them go, not just the objects, but also the men that she had once loved.

Sighing, she leaned back against him again on instinct, her breathing now evened out as she stood in his arms, staring out at the ocean. It just felt right.

"So, what now?" he whispered once again into her ear.

"Now," she began, moving his free hand from its place against her stomach to intertwine their fingers, the coolness of his rings burning against her warm hand, "we move forward. Together."

She felt Hook practically melt behind her as he placed a soft kiss to the side of her head, their gazes never leaving the horizon. "Aye, love. Together."


End file.
